My sweetie

Ours is not an unusual story. I met my husband while we were in college. I was 19, he was 22. We were friends for a long time before we started dating. When our relationship changed to one of a more romantic nature, it seemed like the natural path to follow.

Now I’m 37, my husband 40. In the intervening years we’ve moved across the country, started a business, created a home, had children, and watched our parents die. We’ve made and lost friends. We’ve traveled. We’ve laughed at each other’s jokes (alas, still the same ones all these nearly 20 years) and cried at each other’s heartaches. And still, it feels like the natural path to follow.

We’re starting to see our friends’ marriages run into trouble, which makes me wonder what our secret is. It helps that when my mom met him, she pulled me aside and whispered, "He's a keeper!" It helps that we are truly each other’s best friend, which sustains us when we’re not feeling all that romantic (read: up all night with a newborn baby). And it helps that we respect each other. Maybe more than anything, it helps that he’s still willing to rub my feet while we watch television.

But honestly, I think the secret is no secret at all. We’ve just continued to grow together, while giving one another room to grow alone. When I met my husband, I was still a girl. I was still finding my way in the world and he was there to hold my hand, or to let me take off in my own direction. He watched me become a woman and I watched him grow into a man. When my husband started his business, I was there to anchor us while he took the leap. Now that I’m exploring a writing career, my husband makes sure the bills are paid and puts the kids to bed while I’m hammering out an article that’s on deadline.

In the past few years we’ve taken the occasional separate vacation – my husband skiing with college buddies, me to Las Vegas with girlfriends. We always call to say goodnight, and ask “Are you having fun?” The answer is always the same: “Yes, but everything is more fun with you.” And it’s true.

I don’t know where our path will lead us. I just know that with my husband by my side, it’s the natural path to follow.